Walking? More like walking AND twirling a cloth around at the same time. That ups the difficulty like 5,000,000%.
Walking and twirling a piece of cloth at the same time--that takes serious skill!
Give that boy a hula hoop.
While it may look like Chenoa was copying Johnny’s comment here, I must point out that since Johnny can’t be bothered to log into the site, his comment was in the moderation queue when Chenoa made her comment, and thus Chenoa had most likely not seen it.
Now he will for sure get into everything!! Except the tv, which is barricaded.
Wheeeeee!
Looks like you won’t need to turn on any fans on this summer - very handy.
That is TOO adorable! Makes me want to fall right in line behind him with my trumpet/saxophone/flute/drum. He makes it look effortless!
Long-time-no-see UltraMom here. Sorry I’ve been away so long; its not because I haven’t been thinking of you, really it isn’t. But since we’ve been down this road many times before, lets just cut the excuses and get on with the errant posting, shall we?
Lot’s of stuff is happening in world-UltraMom, or rather will be happening soon. Here’s a brief rundown on coming events: vacationing with UltraBob, UltraGirl, UltraLinc, (along with Ultra Dad and Heather) in Portland, Oregon, including a night in Newport (on the coast!) for UltraMom’s birthday. Immediately after that is the much anticipated event of the year; the wedding of Jimbo and Jessica in Boise, Idaho. And then, in late August, UltraMom begins her new school year in the AAS Nursing Program at Great Basin College! That’s right, kids, I made it into the program and have two ‘fun-filled’, ‘action-packed’ years ahead of me as I head towards a new career, and hopefully, increased earning power.
I have been working on some scholarship applications, and when I got to the section on “Personal Statement”, I naturally asked for help from the two scholarship whizzes in the family. Jimbo sent me some samples of his, which were meaty and well-written, extolling the wonders and benefits to the workplace in specific and to society as a whole of assisting him in becoming a certified Industrial Hygienist. The essays, along with a perfect GPA and sometime required photo submission has netted him over $10,000 in scholarship monies for next year. Good job, kiddo!
Johnny’s personal statement, which helped net him a very nice partial scholarship through three years of Vanderbilt Law School, was very entertaining and, to me, utterly charming. I think it’s only fair that since Johnny is the one who encouraged/shamed me into posting again, that he help me write the dang thing. And so, for your entertainment enlightenment, and general edification I hereby present Johnny’s great work of literature, titled (by me) “Why I want to go to Law School”. (Critique and comments to follow)
“Because I said so!” was the common response to my youthful inquiries regarding the rationale behind the seemingly arbitrary mandates imposed upon me by my parents. To my credit, I both frequently and vociferously argued against this blanket justification and petitioned for my rights with all the tools at my youthful command. But my early attempts at judicial persuasion seemed doomed to failure. Attempts to introduce favorable decisions from alternate jurisdictions ("But Billy’s parents let HIM stay up until 10!") were habitually barred from consideration, with the issued reminder that such holdings lacked precedence in my home ("I don’t care what Billy’s mother and father let him do, he’s not living under my roof!"). Even plain and credible instances of jurisdictional stare decisis ("Well you let Bob watch Rambo, so why can’t I?") were summarily dismissed on supposedly key but plainly irrelevant factors such as comparative chronological advancement ("Because he is older than you!"). Having exhausted all available legal avenues of recourse in my quest for justice (there being no court of appeals), I occasionally felt compelled to practice acts of civil disobedience as extolled by John Locke. Regrettably, these demonstrations were ineffective as catalysts of social change, and notable only for their brevity. It seemed that no sooner had I commenced a daring raid on the family room, in direct defiance of the “bed time” ordinance, and I was already in custody and being sentenced to either banishment ("Go to your room!"), or worse, a humiliating public-shaming ("Go stand in the corner!"). Despite repeated failure I never ceased in my youthful struggles against injustice, and this has plainly crafted me into the ideal law school candidate.
All levity aside, I was not interested in law at an early age. In fact, I believe that the only careers I ever even considered as a child were Movie Star/Astronaut and Rockstar/Doctor, but for unknown reasons neither of these has panned out. When I began college I had only two criteria for my future vocation: 1) It had to interest and challenge me; and 2) It had to provide me with the opportunity to make a meaningful contribution to society. My journey toward law school didn’t begin until the first semester of my sophomore year of college when I enrolled in Criminal Justice 101 and was introduced to the ethical dilemmas inherent in the application of law, via the assigned course-text The Brothel Boy. This fictional book was written from the perspective of a relatively inexperienced British constabulary officer in colonial India charged with the responsibility of enacting and enforcing law within his allotted province, with only extremely belated and infrequent correspondence from his superiors. Until I attempted to formulate my solutions to the suppositious dilemmas presented within that book, I had never given any serious consideration to the intrinsic difficulty in attempting to balance case-specific justice with the necessity to create the sound judicial principles necessary to inform future interpretation of law. Though difficult, I found these challenges exhilarating, and by the end of the semester I had declared Criminal Justice as my major.
In subsequent courses, both within and outside my major, I continued to learn about law and the diverse areas of its impact. In my Corrections Law class, I read Supreme Court decisions for cases concerning gross violations of human rights, such as Madrid v. Gomez, and learned the key roles that attorneys and judges played in remedying these abuses. In Constitutional Law, I learned about such cases as Brown v. Board of Education in which the courts rectified injustice when the legislative branch of the government was either unable or unwilling to do so. For my Senior Tutorial paper, I researched the in rem practice of civil asset forfeiture and found myself not only astounded at the concept of executing civil proceedings again property rather than the property owner, but also enthralled by the complex legal history of this practice. Finally, in my course on The Legal Regulations of American Democracy, I was given a glimpse of the crucial and complex law involved in such areas as campaign finance and electoral districting. I left this course with not only the absolute conviction that I never wanted to practice election law but also with a newfound respect for the role the legal profession has in protecting the integrity of the most vital process of American democracy- the vote. I don’t mean to suggest that these courses provided me with a thorough knowledge of the law, but they did instill my desire to obtain one.
I realize that reading Supreme Court decisions and actually practicing law are two very different things, and with this in mind, I decided to get some real-world legal experience before making the serious commitment of enrolling in law school. In the half-year since I secured a Project Assistant’s position at the firm of Holland & Hart LLP, I have had the opportunity to interact with practicing attorneys on a daily basis, and observe genres of legal practice that academia had not exposed me to. Through these observations, I have come to appreciate the law’s indispensability to all aspects of commercial business operations, and ways in which civil advocacy can remedy injustice when the criminal system cannot (such as medical malpractice).
I am confident that I have found a career that meets both of the goals I established for myself when entering college, and eagerly await beginning my legal career. I may, however, have to resign myself to the fact that even a superb legal education won’t enable me to win an argument against my parents.
The last statement is totally untrue; this kid can talk his way out of anything, and in lieu of sound argument and sound logic, can nearly always defeat me through repetition, circular reasoning and references to my faulty memory. I too eagerly await the beginning of his legal career, and I’m sure that by sometime in August, we will hear good news concerning his passage of the Idaho Bar. Thanks for helping me write my first post back. I’ll try to be around more, at least til I come up with a fresh batch of excuses.
Since we already chatted, I have no material, but I was ordered to leave a comment so this is it. I look forward to the flurry of excellent posts to come Mom, and Johnny can feel free to come back and fill my end of the duo whenever he likes.
Oh yeah, we’ll be celebrating two bithday’s in Newport. Really looking forward to that.
Yep, your two favorite women, right?
Well … the spot for my second favorite woman is already taken, and one of you is in the top spot.
Hmm. So you’re saying UltraGirl is 3rd?
btw, who is in Spot #2?
Well done Johnny. I continue to be impressed with both your intelligence and your humor.
Unfortunately, I think Aunt Kathy will have to wait until September to find out the bar results.
I’m pretty sure Bobby’s comment is his way of hinting at a baby girl on the way.
I don’t want to name any names and I don’t have any photos yet to provide; but yesterday somebody took their first few tentative solo steps, and today did a repeat performance for me.
Woohoo! Good work Linc!
Pictures! We want video!!!
Bob I was wondering when you were going to learn to walk!!!!
Zing!!
Sweet!!!
Hi folks, your friend UltraGirl here with a quick visual update on the progress of everybody’s favorite 1 year old, Lincoln Arthur McDonald the 1 year old extraordinaire who turned one and became a 1 year old on April 26th of this year, his 1st birthday.
His first birthday cake is shaped like the number one. I love this cake. We also had a different kind of cake to share with everyone. Too bad Linc couldn’t try very much.
Did you know lots of babies who turned one year old have to try to carry a mochi (rice cake) that weighs about 1.8 kg in Japan? Sounds horrible huh? Well, this is a tradition to wish his or her life be fulfilling and they have no trouble getting food. Linc doesn’t know yet in this photo how heavy the mochi will be. Actually had no clue what was going on…
This is “After”. Most babies aren’t able to carry that much on their back at the age, and actually it is even better if your baby falls down in some areas since that means your child will get so much food and wealth that he can’t carry it all.
This is the mochi he had on his little back. Wow that was heavy.
We had special kind of sushi, pizza, my mother’s salad, and fruits. Linc had his own style of food.
Yey! Thank you everyone. I’m a very happy boy. Oh, and he claps now. He claps a lot.
Three of us went out for dinner on Linc’s actual birthday. The party was held the day before.
On my (ultragirl) birthday, we all visited Saitama where Motoji (my dad) is from. His brother maintains his yard really neatly.
Another photo of Linc in the yard with his J-grandma.
In the same yard, but he wanted to stand up.
Family photo in front of the Kabuto (samurai helmet)
May 5th is Japanese Children’s day. Display Kabuto if you have a boy to wish for him to be strong. This is such a nice one, don’t you think?
Just a photo I took in a restaurant the other day. These guys are so cute.
Happy birthday, Linc! Happy birthday, UltraGirl!
Love the photos. Thanks for sharing!
Wow! I’m so glad I checked the website when I got home tonight after taking a lab final in A & P! Great pix, UltraGirl. You and Linc are adorable and that husband of yours is kinda cute himself. So sorry I missed your birthday. Maybe we can have a joint celebration when you are here this summer!
Awww! He’s such a big boy now!
I love hearing all the traditions! Love the pics!
Happy Late birthday Ultragirl. Love the pictures! Can’t wait to see you guys in July!
Happy birthday Linc!! I loved seeing all the pictures!
UltraDad and I just returned home from a whirwind 5-6 days, which included some 6 hour drives to and from Boise, some flights of varying length to and from Nashville and a very exciting graduation from the prestigious and picturesque Vanderbilt School of Law. If I wasn’t buried in homework that I didn’t complete in Nashville, despite good intentions, I would write at length, and plan to do just that in a week or so. What I will tell you now was that all travel plans and sleeping arrangements worked out, more or less. Johnny’s Law School graduation, occurred at the odd (anyway, it seemed to me an odd time to schedule a college graduation) hour of 10:30 A.M. on a Friday. Attending from (way) out of state were Aunt Debi (Panther) Ryder from Emmett, Idaho; James P. McDonald from Salt Lake City, Utah; Ultramom from Carlin, Nevada, and UltraDad from Ruby Valley, Nevada. The girls had a motel room downtown, while the guys slept on various blow-up beds and the recliner (Jim) in Johnny’s appartment. Besides the headliner graduation, events included a tour of Vanderbilt Law Building and grounds, a trip to the bookstore so UltraMom could obtain her own Vanderbilt sweatshirt and bumper sticker and replacement Vanderbilt frisbee (cause Rowdy broke her other one; just ask Jim), bowling, and 45 holes of miniature golf. We spent a good half day at the Country Music Hall of Fame, and several hours at The Hermitage, former home of former president Andrew Jackson. We took a lovely drive on the Natchez Trace and had some fantastic BBQ and some not too bad Cajun Pepperoni Pizza. Oh, and of course we saw the Parthenon.
I know I had a great time, though Jim maintained that trying to keep track of me, Panther and UltraDad was like trying to herd 300 cats. I must admit, I did try to follow the wrong group of people on the way to the graduation, but only once or twice. On the whole, I think the cat analogy a faulty one.
After the ‘herdable cats’ left, Jim and his soon-to-be-attorney brother loaded up a pull-behind-Johnny’s-Taurus trailor with the motorcycle and the rest of Johnny’s earthly belongings. Tomorrow Jim flies home and Johnny starts his long drive back to Boise where he will begin his 2-year stint of working for an Idaho Supreme Court Judge. Tomorrow UltraDad heads back to work, and UltraMom heads back to work and school.
But today, Johnny, you should take a few minutes to bask in the pride of your great accomplishment. That’s what I’m doing, anyway. I’m so proud of you, honey. Drive safely.
UltraMom
Ready to get that law school diploma. As the graduates walked by, I heard a little girl give voice to what all of us were secretly thinking: “Their hats look like mushrooms.”
Johnny with two of his friends and fellow graduates:Mark Webster, his housemate, and Chris Jaeger (sp?). Johnny had already ditched his hot, uncomfortable graduation regalia.
The family. Don’t the guys look spiffy?
Johnny with one of his very favorite aunts, and his very favorite mom.
The bombastic Moot Court team of John McDonald and Scott Goldman. Also pictured is Scott’s wife (name escapes me), who graduated from Vanderbilt Medical School on the same day her husband graduated with a law degree, and from what I hear was the star member of the group’s trivia team. The team had a cool name, but it too is no longer in memory cell retrieval range.
The proof is in the pudding....er the diploma.
Congratulations Johnny! Very proud of you uncle John, says Linc....
Congratulations Johnny! We’re proud of you too. We look forward to seeing you in our neck of the woods. I look forward to seeing all of my (ok, my judge’s) decisions heartily affirmed by your keyboard strokes.
I’m pretty sure the JD caps are going to be the next fashion rage. They’re just so universally flattering.
Congratulations Johnny. We are very proud of you, and wish you the best of luck as you move into actually utilizing that hard-won education of yours.
Also, Vanderbilt has some really nice lawns…
Congratulations Johnny!!! The hat did look like a mushroom.
Congratulations Johnny! Very proud of you. Wish we could have been there.
Today in Japan tomorrow in America.
Wishing a very happy birthday to the cutest, smartest, most kissable baby in the world.
Happy Birthday, Linc.
Love you very much,
UltraGrandma and UltraGrandpa
Happy Birthday buddy!
Happy birthday to my most favorite nephew. I hope that you are thoroughly spoiled!
Happy Birthday Linc!
Awww.
Long time (about a year) reader, first time poster.
Thanks grandma and everyone for the birthday well-wishes. I had a pretty nice birthday all told. The day before my birthday I went over to Grandma and Grandpa Suzuki’s place and had a birthday party. There was pizza, there was sushi, but I don’t eat any of that garbage. Grandma had whipped me up some pretty awesome vegetables and rice and soup .. I even got a couple of strawberries and a tiny bit of sponge cake for desert. Earlier that day, Mom let me have a couple of bites of pudding too. Let me tell you, they’ve been holding out on me with these sweets—how come nobody ever told me about those?!?
Anyway after dinner, Mommy and Daddy gave me a set of building blocks that have something called magnitz or something in them. It makes them snap together nicely and they’ll even stick to the refrigerator, but I’ve gotta tell you, they are mostly good for banging together and throwing. Daddy keeps trying to make them stand up in structured shapes, but I’m with Bob Dylan when he says, “Chaos is a friend of mine,” so I make sure they get scattered in short order.
Oh, I almost forgot, I had this activity bench type thing with push buttons that make funny noises on top of it. I could stand at this bench and perform science experiments, but I was getting a little bored with it. Daddy did something with it on my birthday and now it is this neat push scooter thing that I can walk behind while I push it around the house. Really saves the old knees, which is a godsend when you get to be my age.
So that was the day before my birthday right? Well on my birthday I had a nice video chat with my Grandma. She went on a bit about my sugar and things like that, but what are you gonna do? Once you get past her sweet tooth, she’s a pretty nice lady.
Oh yeah also, don’t tell Mommy and Daddy I know, but tonight Daddy brought me home one more birthday present that he hadn’t had a chance to buy me before my birthday. I’ll act surprised and vaguely bored with it all when he gives me my cute little robot dog, as I always do at present time. He’ll never suspect a thing. If you think I can’t pull it off, you’ve never seen the innocent look I give Mommy and Daddy when they catch me messing with something I’m not supposed to. The most suspicious person in the world would believe I’d just been for a stroll and paused to rest, inadvertently tangling my hands in the cables behind the computer and pulling it halfway off the shelf; and we’re talking a high stress environment here. Really. I’m that good!
And do you have any pictures to go along with your story, UltraLinc?
Linc, did you forget that Mommy and Daddy read this blog also? Don’t forget to thank Uncle Mitsu for getting you the nice bed which has been letting you sleep much better!
Wow, Linc; that is a pretty hefty first comment. I like your style, but Mommy is right. This site has a LOT of readers and you don’t want to give away all your secret strategies. Did you get the birthday card I sent you yet?
Sorry to obsess about the sugar, but I think I see some on your neck, right behind your left ear. Just leave it, and I’ll take care of it when I see you in July!
Wow Linc. I never expected you to be able to write so soon! Happy birthday!! It sounds like you got some pretty awesome presents!
Linc, Happy Birthday! Ultra Aunt Debi plans to spoil you rotton when you come to see us in July. I cannot believe you are the big ONE O! I’ll take some sugar as well…
LInc of course! He is utterly adorable and has done nothing to offend me, which is not always true of my own offspring. Plus, he is now cleverly eating solid food and getting new teeth! What a smart boy.
Fairly Good Dad. Enabled me to videochat with the ever-awesome Linc today. Unfortunately, cannot give him a perfect score, because of lavish candy demands. Sorry.
The mother of my favorite grandchild, and by all accounts, an awesome one.
Chats with me once in a while on Skype. This is the kid I call when I’m feeling a little down. Whether it’s telling corny jokes or indulging in a gender-bashing fest, he can always make me laugh.
Had lots of fun with this guy in SLC last weekend. He spent half of his Saturday with two ‘mature’ women (UltraMom and Ima) and was charming and lots of fun. He graciously accepted Ima’s offer of homemade spaghetti leftovers. What a good son.
I don’t get to talk to this girl NEARLY enough, but she did email me an invite to a Women’s Seminar she will be attending in Pocatello. Unfortunately it is the weekend of my big Weight Watcher meeting. I miss you, honey!
Going on third week of wearing a plastic cone on his head to prevent scratching open the sore on this face, poor little guy. UDad says it is his Halloween Costume: Funnel Man,,,,,,er Pup
Has no plastic cone on his head; unlike Rowdy, does not spend first 5 minutes of each and every walk jumping and grabbing his own (and others) leashes. Has developed a rather cute trick of standing in the kitchen and barking when he wants a treat. After a false start, am determined to not give in to his extortion.
Dropping to the bottom. She has ruined another couch with her lethal claws, despite huge scratching post prominently displayed (and largely splayed) in the vicinity.
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my new tie
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still happy? after Polio
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Taken with the video camera on a new iphone by the way. Not too shabby I’d say!